The
Invisible Guest
This newsletter is
really designed for the server; managers can certainly pass it on to their
servers in pre-shift meetings, etc. It’s just one of those little things that
happen sometimes in this business!
We’ve all been there:
we’re out with a group of friends or family and the server seems to be ignoring
us, or me, or you! That one person at the table that, for some reason, the
server seems to not notice, not hear when something is requested and
conveniently forget to fill her coffee cup while refreshing everyone else’s at
the table. It feels deliberate, malicious and, worse, it makes one feel
invisible. Every self-doubt a person ever had creeps into her psyche and
she immediately dislikes the server. Pity the server if that is the person who
is paying the bill!
What’s worse than being
that invisible guest? I would argue that it’s worse to be the server who
finally realizes he/she has been neglecting one person at a table. I’ve been
there myself! I’m willing to bet money every one of you reading this article
right now has been in that awful position. It’s almost better for a server if
she never realizes she committed the neglect. She’s just left wondering why the
tip wasn’t as much as it should have been.
The question of the day
then, is “What do I do when I realize I’m doing it?” Chances are the guest has
realized it – who wouldn’t? We’ve all been there, remember? I say make up for
it as best you can. You have to recover, there’s no question about that. Don’t
be surprised if it’s too little, too late. You must at least try.
If the host or someone
calls your attention to it during the course of the meal, you have to own up to
it and apologize sincerely, both to the offended guest and the host. It’s a
difficult thing to point out to a server; if no one points it out and you feel
as if you have created an invisible guest, make your own silent amends. Pay
attention to that person and make sure you don’t continue ignoring her. Going
overboard might be obvious; try just including that person back into the fold.
Recently, while out
with family, our server did indeed create an invisible guest at our table. We
all watched and paid attention and, sure enough, she did seem to be ignoring one
of us. Worse yet, she seemed to really focus on another person at our table,
always making eye contact with her and making sure she made small talk with her,
etc. It was the catalyst for this newsletter, in case you couldn’t tell!
It didn’t seem
malicious or intentional; that doesn’t make it any easier for the invisible
guest, however. It became a game to see if our server would indeed pay
attention to her when we specifically called her to the table for something.
She proved time and again to truly not hear requests for refills from that
particular person; she also ignored her when she was refilling other beverages
at the table. She never made eye contact with her and rarely acknowledged her
presence.
Servers, be aware that
your every move gets noted and your attention, or lack thereof, is extremely
notable at a group table. Be on your best game always. You never know whom you
might be serving!
Training and information
is the key! Contact me, Susie, at Waiter Training, either by phone or email.
My business number is (720) 203-4615, and web address is
http://www.waiter-training.com.
I have
restaurant training
manuals available for sale, as well as my book, “A Waiter’s Training,”
for the individual server who wants to learn more about his/her career and
improve on skills.
Susie Ross has been
involved in the hospitality industry for ten years