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| Waiter Training Newsletter |
Books & Manuals Restaurant Training Manuals Training Book for Waiters & Waitresses
The Invisible Guest
This newsletter is really designed for the server; managers can certainly pass it on to their servers in pre-shift meetings, etc. It’s just one of those little things that happen sometimes in this business!
We’ve all been there: we’re out with a group of friends or family and the server seems to be ignoring us, or me, or you! That one person at the table that, for some reason, the server seems to not notice, not hear when something is requested and conveniently forget to fill her coffee cup while refreshing everyone else’s at the table. It feels deliberate, malicious and, worse, it makes one feel invisible. Every self-doubt a person ever had creeps into her psyche and she immediately dislikes the server. Pity the server if that is the person who is paying the bill!
What’s worse than being that invisible guest? I would argue that it’s worse to be the server who finally realizes he/she has been neglecting one person at a table. I’ve been there myself! I’m willing to bet money every one of you reading this article right now has been in that awful position. It’s almost better for a server if she never realizes she committed the neglect. She’s just left wondering why the tip wasn’t as much as it should have been.
The question of the day then, is “What do I do when I realize I’m doing it?” Chances are the guest has realized it – who wouldn’t? We’ve all been there, remember? I say make up for it as best you can. You have to recover, there’s no question about that. Don’t be surprised if it’s too little, too late. You must at least try.
If the host or someone calls your attention to it during the course of the meal, you have to own up to it and apologize sincerely, both to the offended guest and the host. It’s a difficult thing to point out to a server; if no one points it out and you feel as if you have created an invisible guest, make your own silent amends. Pay attention to that person and make sure you don’t continue ignoring her. Going overboard might be obvious; try just including that person back into the fold.
Recently, while out with family, our server did indeed create an invisible guest at our table. We all watched and paid attention and, sure enough, she did seem to be ignoring one of us. Worse yet, she seemed to really focus on another person at our table, always making eye contact with her and making sure she made small talk with her, etc. It was the catalyst for this newsletter, in case you couldn’t tell!
It didn’t seem malicious or intentional; that doesn’t make it any easier for the invisible guest, however. It became a game to see if our server would indeed pay attention to her when we specifically called her to the table for something. She proved time and again to truly not hear requests for refills from that particular person; she also ignored her when she was refilling other beverages at the table. She never made eye contact with her and rarely acknowledged her presence.
Servers, be aware that your every move gets noted and your attention, or lack thereof, is extremely notable at a group table. Be on your best game always. You never know whom you might be serving!
Training and information is the key! Contact me, Susie, at Waiter Training, either by phone or email. My business number is (720) 203-4615, and web address is http://www.waiter-training.com.
I have restaurant training manuals available for sale, as well as my book, “A Waiter’s Training,” for the individual server who wants to learn more about his/her career and improve on skills.
Susie Ross has been involved in the hospitality industry for ten years
. She has just written a definitive work on front of house customer service and techniques for waiters and waitresses. For more information about Susie's book, "A Waiters Training," her training manuals and training seminars please visit her at http://www.waiter-training.com or email her at susie@waiter-training.com.©Waiter Training 2003
Excellence is an act won by training and habituation.
We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence,
but rather we have those because we have acted rightly.
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.- Aristotle
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